My family trio became a duo last week when my son moved out of his bedroom and into my sister’s house–1009 miles away.
I’d been expecting him to go, he was going to bring her kids home after their summer vacation with family. He would accompany them on the flight, stay for a few weeks and come back home. But life never quite happens like I expect and wham,bam Stuart suddenly had a job at my sister’s dental office.
If he wanted it.
He has spent much of the summer looking for a job with no luck beyond the small landscaping gig he’s had for years now, but suddenly there was a nearly-full-time position just waiting for him. In southern California.
He accepted, said his goodbyes to family and friends, then boarded a plane with his ten- and five-year-old cousins bound for LAX.
His room sat empty for two days, waiting. Maybe he’d change his mind. Maybe the job wouldn’t actually exist. Maybe we could still be a trio.
A week later, he’s getting settled in his new room and his sister has taken over his old room. Her computer is on his desk. Her sheets are on his bed. Her toys and books are on his shelves. And maybe in another week or two it won’t seem like they are his desk, his bed, his shelves, his room. Maybe it will feel like they are really hers.
Perhaps in a few weeks we will have morphed into a dynamic duo, instead of feeling like a tripod with missing leg. I feel this imperative to bond tightly now or we will simply fall apart. So I’m spending more time with her, talking more, being together more.
Together, just the two of us.
5 Replies to “And then there were two.”
The good news is that your son’s space in your heart remains FOREVER!
Fellow SW Member
I’ve got a fist in my gut, just reading this. Like you, I’m a long term solo parent (10 years). And I’m soon to face the empty room, the long awaited “quiet,” and I worry that I’ll drop over the edge of the earth. And plummet.
Then I tell myself that solo parenting – as you say – isn’t for the faint of heart, and getting on with “whatever comes next” will require the same willingness to tough it out, and make something of it.
Still, the pending emptiness is palpable. I’ll be interested to follow your journey through this stage.
I think it’s hard to understand just how much of your life is consumed by being a parent when you are doing it solo. It’s every day, everything. Having him gone is strange and I don’t like it and it makes me wonder just how I’ll do it when they are both grown and gone. To be alone …I both yearn for it and dread it.
Great post. I can feel the sadness, but it also shows that you have done a wonderful job parenting in that your son feels he can follow his dream, without having to worry about his family. I see so many kids who feel too guilty to leave their parents and that makes me sad. The world is a place to explore and find your own niche. That being said, a call and a visit once in awhile makes the separation a little easier! It took me a good piece of time before I got used to my kids moving away.
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